How to Let Go of Working Mom Guilt Once and For All
Okay, mama, we’re going to get real about working mom guilt! Let’s get it all out there. Even if you aren’t a working mom in the traditional sense, this post is for EVERY mom that struggles with mom guilt.
Mom guilt is something I have struggled with since I brought my first little nugget home. We often second guess ourselves over the choices we’ve made as moms and wished we could have done things differently.
But one thing I hear over and over again from the working moms I meet is this, we feel so darn guilty for working. This post is going to get real and raw about working mom guilt and how to overcome those feelings.
You see, working mom guilt is something I struggled with for years. It especially reared its ugly head when my oldest started Kindergarten. I felt like I was the ONLY mom in his class that worked (because ya know his teacher who was a mom herself apparently didn’t count).
how do i get rid of working mom guilt?
Somewhere along the way I had convinced myself that I was a mediocre mom because I wasn’t there for a lot of special activities. I didn’t serve on the PTO, didn’t make fancy lunches with cute notes every day, and my kid had to go to after school care instead of coming home to fresh-baked cookies.
The thing is, is that I had created a false reality that had controlled my thoughts for at least until my son was in third grade. I am sharing this with you because I want you to know how wonderful a mom you really are. You do not have to waste precious years struggling with guilt. Let’s talk about how we can break that cycle and overcome working mom guilt.
Remove Unrealistic Expectations
I don’t know why as moms we feel like we have to do everything perfectly. Sometimes the expectations we place on ourselves are completely unattainable. And when we don’t reach the standard of excellence we’ve created as our measuring stick, we are consumed with guilt.
Like when we’ve gone through the drive-thru for the third time in the week because that meeting went long. Or when our kids go to bed with their homework incomplete because we are exhausted from a long day.
Maybe the house is a hot mess come Friday because goodness it’s been a long week. The reality is that there are only so many hours in the day. Moms, we need to give ourselves permission to let good enough be good enough.
We cannot do all and be all for everyone, and the unrealistic expectations will keep us from living our life to its fullest. Your kids need happy mom, not perfect mom. Besides, what are we trying to prove? Who is it that we are really trying to impress?
God will never stop loving us! Pause and let that sink in! The One whose opinion matters most will NEVER cease to love us. That is worth living in freedom. Freedom from what others think and goodness, freedom from ourselves!
Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Moms
One of the biggest reasons I believe that working moms experience guilt is they are stuck in the comparison trap. Today, we have a little thing called social media.
This little monster has allowed us to see all of the things we are missing out on, should be doing, and what we need to do better.
Oh. The. Guilt. Now, you may have a very healthy relationship with social media, but from what I hear, most women don’t.
When we compare our lives, homes, clothes, relationships, and whatever else to what we see what others have or are doing this creates a great deal of discontentment.
Discontentment eventually leads to guilt that tells us we are not able to keep up. It also tells us that we should be doing better and eventually that we are not good enough.
Can I encourage you today precious mom? Stay in your lane! Live your life! And if you have to, stay off social media.
Another way to avoid the comparison trap is to start a gratitude journal. Each day, take a few minutes and write down several things you are grateful for. Gratitude begets gratitude. Sometimes it is a simple reminder of all the good we way. And we have a lot of good.
Expect to Disappoint Your Kids
Mom, you will miss school activities, you will be late to that recital, and you will forget to pack a lunch or two. And you know what? Your kids will be just fine. In fact, they will end up more than fine.
Because here is the deal, disappointment is an emotion that your child will need to feel. It is inevitable, and the better they become at managing their emotions, the healthier they will be. Is it fun?
No! Do we want to let our little loves down? Certainly not! But it does not mean you love them any less and it definitely does not mean you are not a good mom.
Whether you are a working mom because you have to be or because you want to be, know this- you are hand-picked by God to be the mother to your children. He chose you!
By removing unrealistic expectations, stop comparing ourselves to other moms, and accepting the fact that we will disappoint our children, we overcome working mom guilt in its tracks.
So, the next time you feel that guilt start to creep up in your heart, pause and remember that your kiddos want no other mom than YOU!